The latest dilemma

"G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3" (gbodyman)
09/09/2015 at 14:02 • Filed to: None

So my parents are thinking of buying me a van. That would be cool, except for a few things.

Honda automatic transmissions, Toyota V6 sludge, the smallness of the Mazda 5, the general crappiness of the American FWD vans, and the quality glitches of the MPV and Nissan Quest. There is only one answer.

The GM AssSafari! Am I right?

DISCUSSION (52)

TheVancen- In Pursuit of a Greater Payday and Car Parts > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:04

Kinja'd!!!

Heh.

Ike > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:04

Ever see its crash test?

HammerheadFistpunch > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:05

Get a good clean example and this would be a great choice. Get a vortec model.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > TheVancen- In Pursuit of a Greater Payday and Car Parts
09/09/2015 at 14:05

Of course, the astro will always be humble compared to your awesome cruising Van.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Ike
09/09/2015 at 14:06

It has airbags, which is a huge improvement over my previous car.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > HammerheadFistpunch
09/09/2015 at 14:06

The beauty of moving to Kelowna is that cars don't rust out there.

Ike > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:11

Ehhhhhhh maybe not...

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:11

Are Honda ATs still that bad, and the Toyota sludge thing doesn’t matter if you change the oil more often than recommended.

Your boy, BJR > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:15

Get one of these...

Kinja'd!!!

So you can do this.....

Kinja'd!!!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:15

My brother really likes his. Logansteno on Oppo - not so much.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Ike
09/09/2015 at 14:16

I've seen worse.

Your boy, BJR > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:16

Or, if you’re shooting for rarity:

Kinja'd!!!

Barndoor caravan!

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
09/09/2015 at 14:17

The problem with Toyota Sludge is that the PO may not have known to change the oil that often. And yes, Honda ATs really are that bad.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Your boy, BJR
09/09/2015 at 14:17

How about no?

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:18

Look for a service history. Most Sienna owners would end up taking the car to Jiffy Lube, so you’ll see on carfax when they had their oil changed. If it’s every 7500 miles, pass on it. If they stuck with 3000 even though Toyota said it doesn’t need it, you might have a winner.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
09/09/2015 at 14:19

Either way, a problem we had with out sienna is that it went through O2 sensors like it was going out of style, and got abysmal fuel economy on regular gas.

Your boy, BJR > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:22

Kinja'd!!!

Then there's always the Cadillac of minivans....

Snuze: Needs another Swede > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:27

We had 2 of the AWD Safaris, and they were freaking awesome. They would go anywhere, haul lots of shit, and were basically bullet proof reliability wise. I’ve sung their praises on here many times.

Your boy, BJR > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:28

Why no buggabago?

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Your boy, BJR
09/09/2015 at 14:30

Because even though I love Mopars, I hate Mopar quality.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Your boy, BJR
09/09/2015 at 14:31

I love Dustbusters, I just don't have much confidence in their reliability.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Snuze: Needs another Swede
09/09/2015 at 14:32

Now imagine this. An AWD safari with twin HX35s, a 4L85-E, and a Ford 9” rear end.

Your boy, BJR > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:32

Meh, it's the mitsu 3.0 though.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Your boy, BJR
09/09/2015 at 14:33

I know the motor’s decent, it's the rest of the car I'm worried about.

Your boy, BJR > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:34

But it's the 3.8. That's a great motor

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Your boy, BJR
09/09/2015 at 14:35

Again, I'm concerned about the rest of the car. I don't want my trans pan falling off at 70 MPH.

Your boy, BJR > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:36

Doesn't matter, Buggabago

Snuze: Needs another Swede > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:38

WAT? I don’t think a 4.3L has enough ass to spin up a pair of HX35s until it gets to... I dunno, 3,000 rpms PAST REDLINE!!?!

Seriously, though, those vans use the same drivetrain setup as the Syclone and Typhoon, so I imagine it wouldn’t be too hard to slap one of those turbos on. I was always telling my dad we should get a Syclone turbo, throw it in the van, and call it the Tsunami.

Also, I’ve heard that doing a 350 swap is actually easier in those than in the S-10s or Blazers - one of the big swap issues is firewall clearance, but the van actually has more room under the “doghouse” compared to either.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Snuze: Needs another Swede
09/09/2015 at 14:41

Can you use S10 V8 mounts on an Astro? Because if so, I know a guy with a spare 4.8 LS.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 14:54

Never attempted it but I believe that is correct.

Sweet Trav > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 15:00

Ford Flex Ecoboost.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Sweet Trav
09/09/2015 at 15:02

Too much money :( also, it's nice to see you back!

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 15:06

...just make sure it’s a post ‘95 200hp Vortec AWD model. Those are decent. My ‘94 160hp RWD was not.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Your boy, BJR
09/09/2015 at 15:14

Been there, done that, had the repair bills. That engine was crap.

Amoore100 > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 15:16

Supercharged Previa! Mid engined! Manual Transmission! Seven seats! Indestructible reliability! Rear or All Wheel Drive! Still pretty freaking slow! Much wow!

Kinja'd!!!

Sweet Trav > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 15:23

It's only 41K, A lot cheaper than a loaded Sienna.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Sweet Trav
09/09/2015 at 15:35

I'm shopping in the very premium $2-$5k range.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
09/09/2015 at 15:37

Kinja'd!!!

Don’t worry, I have a plan.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 15:51

That's gonna be a tiiiiggghhhhttt squeeze in that engine bay. Plus I really think the only way to swap it is it drop the subframe since when you pop the hood you seriously can't even see the motor hardly.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
09/09/2015 at 15:53

Apparently, if you undo the bolts and lift the body, all you need to do is disconnect the driveshaft and hey presto! Your subframe’s out.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 16:21

You know the answer:

Kinja'd!!!

shop-teacher > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 19:13

If you drive a dustbuster van you will want it to breakdown, so you can get out of that ungodly uncomfortable piece of crap. They have the most uncomfortable driving position of any vehicle I’ve ever driven by far. Every mile I spent behind the wheel of one was the most miserable mile I’d ever driven.

shop-teacher > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 19:21

Good choice. Make sure you get one with a Vortec. Bonus points if you get the sweet dutch doors! About a decade ago, as I was finishing grad school, a group of us piled into an Astro we got from the school’s motorpool to go to a conference. I drove 400 miles there, and 400 miles back with 3 figers while my arm rested on the window ledge. What a reat cruising machine! So maneuverable in tight parking lots too.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > shop-teacher
09/09/2015 at 22:29

That’s the idea. And if the Vortec is too wimpy, I can always slot in a 5.3

shop-teacher > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
09/09/2015 at 23:34

That would be pretty awesome ... Not much fun to work on ... But awesome.